Hit or Miss

Entries from Feb 2001

In which Matt reflects on suicide

In which Matt reflects on suicide. I came very close to committing suicide in high school. One day in the middle of class I couldn’t take the teasing anymore and I called my mom at work and got permission to check out because I was “sick.” I drove towards home and pulled into the parking lot of the drug store, sitting there for 30 minutes — tears streaming down my face — as I tried to work up the courage to go inside and buy some sleeping pills or something else to kill myself. Eventually I gave up and drove home and never told a soul about it.

I came very close to committing suicide in college. One day I was eating dinner with some fraternity brothers and I couldn’t take the teasing anymore and walked out of the McDonald’s back towards campus, where I holed myself up in my room. Later, the brothers tried to force my door open to check on me, and I lashed out at them through my tears, pushing my way through them and escaping into the dark. I spent that night in the campus chapel, fortunately left open 24 hours a day, praying to God to make the teasing stop, but also praying for the strength to find some rope and just stop everything. Later, my brothers and I never spoke of that night again.

I came very close to committing suicide, but I didn’t. I don’t know how I managed to survive, when so many gay teenagers don’t.

Growing up in Alabama and attending a conservative college in Indiana, I didn’t think I had anyone to talk to. I was wrong, but I didn’t see that at the time.

Fortunately today, people have the internet to turn to. If you yourself are thinking about suicide, please read this page.


What’s happening on Matt’s campus? (Part 2) On a much more serious note, a Student Advisor committed suicide here at Truman.

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What’s happening on Matt’s campus? (Part 1) Childish student pranks result in destruction, hassle.

Feces. Yes, feces were found in my building.

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Singles day for Matt.

How did I spend my Valentine’s Day alone? Coding a new Recently Updated Gay Weblogs page and watching blaxploitation films with lesbian undertones.


1-877-288-0950 ext 233.

So ureach.com is no longer going to be free. Make a call to my free voice mail box before March 15th and give me what for.

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Happy Singles Awareness Day

Happy Singles Awareness Day. I was going to link to my favorite set of Valentine’s Day Cards from the Onion, but they went all soft and redesigned them this year and they’re nowhere near as offensive as before. Fortunately I saved my favorite card last year:

What Valentine’s Day cards am I handing out on campus this year? Crocodile Hunter cards, of course!

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My student advisors have convinced me that this Am I Hot or Not? picture was taken in one of our other residence halls on campus…

Updated: confirmed, the girl is on our campus.

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Cheesy photos

Cheesy photos. Two weekends ago, we had our Student Advisor Winter Training, and my staff all had to dress up in togas (don’t ask). We each represented a different greek god and had name tags (ex. Hello, I am the God of ________ ). Check it out if you want to see my “sexy little legs” (as dubbed by my staff).

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Suppose I want to download a remote file (through http://) to my server once an hour. How do I do that?

I’m trying to create my own little version of Dan Sanderson’s SHF, which will show when all the glbt weblogs and journals were last updated.

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Phantom Moon

Phantom Moon. Duncan Sheik’s new album (consisting of songs from Spring Awakenings, the musical he’s co-writing with Steven Sater) will be released February 27th on one of my favorite labels, Nonesuch (who still don’t have anything but a placeholder webpage).

Some of the tracks have, predictably, found their way onto Napster. If you only know Duncan Sheik from his one big hit, Barely Breathing, you should check out his other material – especially his great second album, Humming.